i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When are your genitals available?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
