So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
