the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
