you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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