sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Success! We fucked roommates!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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