I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
