Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
