oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize