I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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