My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
