so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
