there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
