Do you still have your period?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
