I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
