whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
