..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize