What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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