so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
