you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
