yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
