HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
