You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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