the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
