dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
