I'm really into asian looking animals
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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