Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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