my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
home. puking in laundry basket.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
