Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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