did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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