Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
