if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
