There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
