Small penises have feelings too.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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