"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I met the friendliest cop last night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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