I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
