How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just found puke in my bra..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
