Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
