This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
