is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize