Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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