Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The Olympian is in my bed
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
