this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
