I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
