did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
