the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize