I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
