how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
