Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
