i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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