Im at strip club and am horny
id be glad to
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
