I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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