I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
