mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize