Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
love makes seman taste better
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
