Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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