Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Is it because I queefed?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
