wanna go halves on a baby?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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