I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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