fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
