It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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