she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
